Case Study: Steve

“I stepped into a circle of creativity and courage that Emily designed. Courage to look at the difficult subjects and creativity to address them afresh. I found this daunting at first, and Emily saw this and brought caring into our circle. She heartened my problem-solving self and equipped me with practical tools. The outcomes are exceptional, and I have gained a trusted advisor and coach.”

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Steve and his wife are in good health and have built a successful consulting company.  He has two adult daughters from his first marriage, two adult sons with his second wife, grandchildren, siblings, nieces and nephews. There are some familial challenges, health challenges, and multi-generational challenges that Steve wanted to review before he redid his estate plan.

It was very important to Steve that his head and heart were aligned with his revisions. After their initial conversation, Emily created a document for him that contained a recap of the information he had shared, the questions he pondered and the gaps between what existed and what he was feeling. Emily’s guidance included the timeline approach as well. She detailed what had to be accomplished in the short term, should something happen to him sooner rather than later. Next, they looked at the different scenarios that they had discussed to see which ones resonated with his mindful and emotional self. Emily also included suggested conversation points he could have with his wife and each of his four children to gain further clarity.

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“If I have to walk through a pitch-black room and I stumble into a chair, it makes me angry and anxious about other unseen obstacles.  But if you tell me beforehand that there’s a chair in the room, when I stumble into it I don’t feel angry or anxious.  I actually feel reassured:  I’m in the right room, I found the chair and I can move ahead.”

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Steve had these conversations with each member of his immediate family and reported back that they were some of the most meaningful, loving, and informative conversations he has ever had with them.

The next step was to take the new information and integrate it with his own resonance. After that process, Emily gave Steve an outline of questions for his professional team to ensure that his financial picture and the state’s legal requirements were in sync with his wishes.  Steve’s new estate plan is now fully aligned with all aspects of his life, his head, and his heart.

Case Study: Diane & Jan

Diane and Jan had an estate plan that was created 8 years ago.  In that time, they acquired more assets, adopted two dogs, supported different causes, and had altered relationships with some family members and friends.  Together with Emily, they discussed these different elements of their lives and how these changes affected their feelings and intentions. The ensuing personal conversation covered a lot of ground by looking at the alignments and disconnects with their head and heart. Questions of taking care of the surviving spouse, equitable giving to family members, next generation funding, asset distribution, philanthropic bequests, honoring friendships, and a host of other issues and concerns were discussed.

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“Emily helped us sort through our legal papers and rethink some of the decisions that were out of date or no longer accurate. She also helped us find the ‘story’ about our legacy and helped us think of ways to leave that legacy to people closest to us. Because of Emily’s help, we were left with reports that reflected our true intentions and deepest beliefs.”

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To help Diane and Jan digest all of the information more easily, Emily created an initial report that featured three areas: the information of their lives that they had shared with Emily, a recap of the ideas that resonated with them, and suggested action items. From there, the three of them sat down again to discuss the report findings: what points they felt had alignment, what was still missing, and what new information had arisen since.  Emily then provided a final report which contained a timeline of items that they could discuss with their estate lawyer, as well as items that they could continue to discuss between themselves.

Case Study: Ilsa

Ilsa and her partner, Pat, have been together for over two decades and are a loving couple who are compatible in many ways. They both have successful careers and because of their age difference, Ilsa had some concerns about how each would be affected by the other’s death in regards to their assets.  They had very different perspectives when it came to their assets, their respective families’ financial pictures, and their end-of-life planning.  Ilsa knew she had to create a plan, but shied away from having a conversation with Pat about it because of their differences.  

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"Emily is very gifted at asking the right questions, being non-judgmental and offering honest feedback and advice, based on her years of personal experience."

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Emily’s initial conversation with Ilsa centered around the specifics of their family structures and what Ilsa perceived as the areas of discordance with Pat.  They brainstormed about various scenarios and the potential communications and outcomes that each scenario would produce. The goal was to find a scenario that would produce a meaningful conversation rather than a confrontation. Emily and Ilsa then role-played the conversations, so that Ilsa could get more comfortable with what she truly felt and be able to speak from a more authentic stance. Emily also helped Ilsa articulate what was important to her in a loving way, so that Pat could feel more confident about Ilsa’s desire to respect and honor Pat’s feelings about her relatives. Emily also suggested options that Ilsa could initiate during her lifetime, so she could enjoy watching her loved ones benefit from her generosity as well as illustrate to Pat her interest in helping Pat’s immediate family along with her own.

From there, Emily created a list of items that Ilsa could act on with and without Pat’s input to help her get a sense of what were the pieces that Pat influenced.  This list also included items that her estate lawyer, her accountant, and money manager would need to address

Ilsa was then able to meet with her estate lawyer to begin the process, have productive conversations with Pat and avoid the unnecessary conflict that can occur when couples discuss their financial situation.